The Adventures of Timelord Link and His Faithful Companion Navi
by carrottmaster
Summary: Link is a timelord. This could be interesting. OBVIOUS AND UNASHAMED CRACK. THERE IS COURSE LANGUAGE- YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED
1. Fuck Unicorns

**A/N: So... First story ever on this website! That's a little exciting, right? Anyway, this is my birthday present for the lovely and wonderful Hipster Spork. Happy Birthday, bitch. :D**

**So, I pretty much wrote this chapter in a day, months ago, so it's not the best, but the story _does_ get better after a while... probably...**

**ENJOY!**

**(I don't own any of this...)**

* * *

Chapter 1—Fuck Unicorns

Link crashed to the ground, confused. Where the hell was he?

"Link! Move!"

God, that was an annoying voice. This could only mean one thing.

"Navi?" Link mumbled. "What—?"

Something crashed into Link's side. He slid across the floor just as something large slammed down where he had been a second before.

"I said," an out-of-breath voice growled at his ear, "move."

Link looked around, bewildered, to see a young woman with short blonde hair, and wide blue eyes clutching her side and panting profusely from where she was hunched over on the floor next to him.

"Navi?" Link asked wonderingly. "But you're a… person?"

Navi glared at him through the hair that had fallen in her eyes. "You don't say?" She answered snarkily.

Yep. That was definitely Navi. But what was going on? Link remembered what had just happened and spun around to see what had crashed, just as Navi jumped up, a knife in her hand.

Link stared at the scene in front of him. It appeared that what had crashed was some sort of wall, as Link could see daylight beyond it, but that wasn't what was making him gape open-mouthed like an idiot. No, that was the giant unicorn that had apparently just kicked the wall in.

Link blinked.

The unicorn started to move forward and Navi let out a furious yell, brandishing her knife.

Link flinched at the unicorn's cries of pain and closed his eyes so as not to have to bear witness to the massacre taking place right before his eyes. God, sometimes Navi could be a real bitch. Murdering unicorns and what not. Who does that?

oooOOOoooOOOooo

They were back on the… the "TARDIS" as Navi had called it. Link shook his head in disbelief. No way was he some "Timelord" who flew around in time and space with Navi. I mean, Navi? No way would he travel with Navi. Still, he could almost remember what she was talking about. It was there on the back of his mind like some half-forgotten dream fighting its way to the surface.

"Link?" Navi's voice was hesitant, uncertain. Link wished she'd shut up. Couldn't she see he was on the verge of a breakdown?

"Link, I know you're freaking out and everything right now, but, um, we should go." She gestured to the open door, through which Link could see about twenty unicorns charging their way.

"Shit."

Navi was already closing the door. Link flew to the controls of the… "TARDIS" and off they went. Link was surprised they were actually moving, since he was pretty much just pressing anything that looked likely to do something.

"Why the hell are there unicorns chasing us?!" He demanded once the TARDIS was safely away from their pursuers.

Navi glared at him reproachfully. "They're chasing me, not us."

Link threw her an exasperated look. Did that distinction really matter? "Well, they're chasing me now too, since I'm the one who helped you escape." He pointed out mildly, instead of yelling like he wanted to.

Navi shrugged. "Anyway, where are we?" She asked curiously.

Link blinked. He had no idea where they were. "Um… it's a surprise?"

Navi rolled her eyes. "So you have no idea, do you?"

Link ignored her question and instead went to the door, opening and ushering her out. "Well, since you seem to be the expert, why don't you tell me?" It was a petty thing to say, but he didn't care.

Navi shot him an evil glare and walked out of the TARDIS.

"Well, we're somewhere in space." She said vaguely from outside.

Link sighed. They were pretty much lost, then.

"Who do you think you are?" A sharp voice interrupted his thoughts.

Link raced out of the TARDIS to see what was going on. A strange, blue creature was walking towards Navi and him, wearing a look of stern disapproval.

"You're an alien, aren't you?" Link asked triumphantly in the direction of the blue man.

The creature stopped and eyed him suspiciously. "…Yes." He answered slowly.

"See!" Link turned back to Navi. "See, I know what's going on!"

Navi smirked and looked toward the blue creature. "Who are you, then?" She countered in response to his earlier question.

"I'm the steward." He answered, seeming offended.

Link nodded. "Well, in that case, we're guests." He decided, extending a hand for the steward to shake it.

The steward didn't move. "Right." He turned his attention to the TARDIS. "You can't park there." He said shortly and turned to leave, clearly having better things to deal with.

Link ignored the last comment and left the TARDIS exactly where it was. He looked at Navi, who was standing over by a large window, looking rather bored.

"We're somewhere with aliens." He announced. "Quite rude aliens, if you ask me…" he trailed off, looking out the window with Navi.

"That's Earth." Navi stated.

"Well yes." Link agreed, wondering if this comment was supposed to have some kind of meaning other than the obvious. "That is Earth. Well done, Navi."

Navi nodded thoughtfully and turned away from the window.

"Anything else, or was that it?" Link asked curiously.

Navi shrugged. "No that's it. Just, 'that's Earth.'"

Link nodded slowly. Navi was crazy, obviously. "…Kay. So, we're orbiting Earth."

Navi nodded again. "This is kind of boring, you know?" She said slowly.

Link thought for a moment. "Yeah, it really is. Maybe we should go somewhere else instead of just sitting here doing nothing."

Navi was already heading back to the TARDIS. With a sigh, Link followed. Wouldn't it be nice if Navi would listen to him for once?

Once again, he began pushing random buttons on the TARDIS and they took off in flight.

oooOOOoooOOOooo

A few weeks later, Navi was watching the inter-galactic news channel, when she came across a story about a space platform that had burned when the sun expanded. The only survivor was some… thing called "Cassandra." Navi shrugged and changed the channel, losing interest.

* * *

**So, that happened... I'd say I'm sorry, but I generally try to not be a liar...**


	2. The Master's Mean

**A/N: So sorry for the delay. Or am I? **

**Disclaimer: Not mine. Yet...**

Chapter 2—The Master's Mean

"So where do you wanna go?" Link asked.

Navi shrugged. "I dunno, where do you wanna go?"

Link shook his head. "I dunno, where d'you wanna go?"

"I dunno, where do you wanna go?"

"I dunno, where do YOU wanna go?'

"I dunno, where do YOU wanna go?"

"I dunno, where do YOU wanna go?"

This continued for a while until eventually, both of them were screaming at the top of their lungs: "I DUNNO, WHERE DO YOU WANNA GO?!"

It wasn't until Navi tried to scream a response, but resulted in silence that Link proposed they call a truce and not go anywhere.

"So what do we wanna do?" He asked vaguely.

Navi scribbled a few words on the notepad she was using to communicate. Once she was finished, she held it up for Link to read.

I dunno. What do we wanna do?

Link shot her a dirty look and started pacing restlessly around the room. "We could play chess." He suggested half-heartedly.

Navi stared at him for a few seconds before shaking her head.

The ideas slide around the TARDIS kitchen in socks, read relaxing books, whittle figurines from small pieces of wood, and several others were also shot down. The situation was getting pretty desperate by the time Navi wrote three words down on her notepad:

Explore the TARDIS.

Link stared and for a moment, Navi was afraid she had said something to upset him somehow. But then came the words; "That's brilliant!" and a rather vigorous high-five.

Navi wished she could tell Link just how much cooler she was than him because she had come up with the idea that had ended their boredom, but, unfortunately, she couldn't talk and that would take too long to write. So, instead, she crossed her arms and assumed a gloomy expression.

Link, on the other hand, appeared to be over-joyed at Navi's inability to speak. He kept glancing over at her with a smug look on his face. Navi resisted the urge to smack him. Barely.

They set off on their journey around the TARDIS quickly, unaware of exactly how incredibly large the TARDIS actually was.

"Okay," Link began, opening the door of the control room, "this is as far as I've ever been. Have you ever been through here?"

Navi shook her head. "You didn't let me out of the control room. You were afraid I might fuck things up."

Link considered this for a moment. "Smart." He said shortly, opening the door all the way and hopping through it.

"There are costumes… EVERYWHERE!" Link's excited voice called through the doorway.

Eagerly, Navi followed him and saw that he was right. There were, indeed, costumes everywhere: hanging from racks along the walls; folded into stacks on the floor; even hung carelessly from the ceiling. The room was just a giant mess of cloth and color. Navi's head hurt just looking at it.

"Okay, this is a little freaky." She stated, attempting to look at Link and judge him for this over-grown thrift store, but he had vanished. "Shit." She muttered, spinning around to take in the whole room, searching wildly. "Where the hell did he go?"

"Where the hell did who go?"

Navi glared at the speaker. Link had returned, wearing what looked like several scarves, a top hat, and a lemon-yellow frock coat.

"You," Navi hissed. "Okay, next room."

Link's happiness evaporated. "Fine," he sighed, leading the way out of the room.

They emerged in a hallway, the walls stretching past where Navi could see, their smooth flow interrupted only by the countless doors that lined both sides of the walls.

"Let's try this one first!" Link yelled, pointing at the door closest to them.

Navi agreed reluctantly. But what else could she do; this was her idea after all.

So they went through the door. Navi was almost surprised. But, this was the TARDIS and Link—she should've expected it. I mean, where did she think all the food came from? It was a kitchen that they were standing in—a great, big, vast kitchen, with a long, gleaming counter and a large oak table in the middle.

"This is amazing." Navi marveled, taking a few steps into the kitchen. "Really, this is a gorgeous kitchen. You could fit so much food in here…"

Link was staring at her. "Right. Moving on?"

Navi begrudgingly left the room and they moved on down the hallway to explore another.

Navi entered first this time, tantamount to Link's indignation, but surprisingly, the door wouldn't open. Confused, and a little insulted, Navi pulled on it more determinedly. Still it wouldn't budge.

"Oh, step aside." Link commanded with a smug look on his face. "Should've known the TARDIS will only open for me. I'm the owner, after all."

Navi rolled her eyes as Link placed his hand on the handle and tugged. It didn't open.

There were only a few seconds of silence before Navi was howling in laughter. Link glared at her and she fell quiet.

"Okay, so this door doesn't open." Link assessed. "Clearly, it's a dirty liar. Let's go!"

They went to the next door in the line, which did open. But as they peered through the doorway, Navi found herself reluctant to step any further. Beside her, Link was staring into the doorway with a look of fear on his face. The room was just one continuous staircase, dimly lit and covered in cobwebs. It seemed to continue forever into the ground, never ending, infinite.

"D'you wanna just skip this one?" Link asked, his voice anxious.

Navi nodded fervently and they closed the door quickly.

The next room they visited had Navi gasping in wonder—lined along the walls was the most beautiful thing she could possibly imagine—herself. Or, rather, thousands of mirrors covering the walls and ceiling, reflecting their images back at them countless times.

"Okay, this is kinda weird." Link decided, pulling Navi back out of the room by her elbow.

Navi protested slightly but decided it really wasn't that big of a deal. After all, Navi was all for ending fights—she was just glad Link had noticed the miraculous recovery of her vocal cords.

The nest room was definitely a strange one. Although, on the TARDIS, it was almost normal. It was a large room that seemed to be made entirely of porcelain. In the middle of the room stood a large, plain, bathtub. Navi was confused beyond words. Why were all these rooms here? What was their purpose? None of them made any sense whatsoever.

"Okay." Link said slowly. "Bathroom."

They left the room and moved on to the next. But they had barely taken one step past the doorway when both came screaming back out.

"What… was that?" Navi gasped.

Link shrugged. "A room full of terrible monsters?" He suggested.

Navi glared at him, as she was so good at doing. "Why do you have a room full of terrible monsters?"

Link shook his head helplessly. "No idea."

Navi gave herself a shake to calm her nerves and led the way into the next room. This room was just that—a room. It appeared to be nothing more; there was no theme that Navi could discern and there was nothing in the room whatsoever.

Shrugging, they left that room and continued on.

Link opened the door to the next room and gasped, making Navi run up behind him to see what all the fuss was about. She understood and shared his amazement at once. On the other side of the door was the biggest library Navi had ever seen. Every inch of the wall was covered in rows upon rows of books, probably more than any other library ever. But that wasn't the reason Navi and Link were gaping in surprise—in the middle of the room, taking up almost all the floor, was a giant swimming pool. Navi shook her head and went to examine the shelves of books.

Link blinked a few times, then ripped his eyes away from the room and looked at Navi. "Come on, there's still so much left!"

"But Link," Navi complained, "look at all these books!" She gestured around wildly. "I mean, seriously, some of these titles…" she trailed off. "Simple Quantum Mechanics: The Universes are Waiting; So You Want to be a Time Traveler?; Everything You Need to Know About the Universe; Majora's Guide to the Universe: Maps, Anthropologies, and So Much More, this place is awesome." Navi concluded, pulling out a few of the books.

Link sighed. "Yes, I know it's awesome. Now let's go."

Navi took a long last loving look at the magnificent library, but followed Link out the door anyway.

"Okay, next room." He said briskly, moving along.

As they opened the door, they both found themselves being pulled toward the ceiling. Navi shrieked in confusion and grabbed ahold of Link, who had been smart enough to cling to the doorway.

"There's no gravity!" He yelled gleefully, clawing his was back through the doorway, pulling Navi with him.

They both collapsed on the ground and the door slammed shut behind them.

Navi laughed breathlessly and jumped up, her good spirits returned. "Next room!" She decided brightly, running down the hall and pulling the door open. She stopped dead, though, as she realized somebody was already in this room. He was a blond man wearing a dark sweater, a strange glint in his eyes, and something familiar about his face. Navi felt as though she should recognize him from somewhere, but she couldn't put her finger on it.

She was so consumed by her lack of memory that she didn't even notice Link standing next to her until the stranger spoke: "Link. Navi. Get the fuck out of my room, I'm trying to watch something."

Navi flinched slightly. How did he know their names?

"I'm sorry," Link began politely, "but who the hell are you?

The man looked surprised, then worried. "You don't recognize me?" He asked, looking at both of them.

Navi shook her head and saw Link doing the same out of the corner of her eye.

"Shit." The man said dully. "We're fucked."

**A/N: You know what you should do? You should review...**


	3. A Psychopath and his Metaltron

**A/N: Somtimes I update on time. Most of the time, I'm just too forgettful to actually pay any attention to what I'm doing in my life much less with my stories...**

**Anyway, here have another chapter! **

**I still don't own this and the situation is looking pretty dire**

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Chapter 3—A Psychopath and his Metaltron

"Why is that bad?" Link demanded, determined to get some answers.

The man shrugged quickly, his eyes too wide. Link suspected that meant he was probably hiding something. Link brushed the thought away; that wasn't important right now.

"No reason." The man said slowly. "I'm the Master, by the way." He announced.

Link narrowed his eyes. "What, just 'the Master?'"

The Master nodded. "Yep. Just the Master."

"So, _Master_," Navi broke in. "What are you doing on the TARDIS?"

Link sighed. "Navi, just let me handle this."

The Master seemed almost amused. "I live here. Now please, if you would kindly leave? As I told you before, I'm kind of in the middle of something."

Before Link could even reply, the Master had slammed the door in his face.

"I think that's enough TARDIS exploring for one day, don't you?" Link asked.

Navi nodded. "I think we should get some food. I'm starving."

Link shrugged. "Sounds good, where do you wanna go?"

Navi cringed. "Oh God, not this again. Let's just go somewhere random." She suggested.

Link nodded. "Okay, let's go… um… here!" He plotted some coordinates at random and put the TARDIS into flight. A few seconds later they landed, having sustained no serious injuries, which, in Link's book, was a success. He remembered one time, he had been traveling with this really clumsy woman, Karen, if he remembered right, who had ended up breaking her leg four times. Link chuckled at the memory and then froze. It was a memory. He could remember things. He shook his head and looked around. Just what had happened to cause him to lose his memories in the first place? And what about the life he had led before this?

"Are we going or not? You've just been standing there, open-mouthed for about ten minutes." Navi informed him impatiently. "Come on!"

Link shook his head briskly. He would worry about it later.

"Where are we?" He wondered as he stepped out of the TARDIS. It appeared to be some sort of museum.

"Henry van Statten's Secret Underground Museum of Strange and Possibly Dangerous Alien Artifacts." Navi recited promptly, reading a sign on the wall.

"Oh." Link replied simply. An alien museum? He was an alien, wasn't he?

"Well, if someone's collecting aliens, THAT MAKES YOU EXHIBIT A!" Navi yelled. "DID YOU HEAR ME, MUSEUM GUARDS? THIS ONE'S AN ALIEN! A _LIVING_ ALIEN! NOT ONLY THAT, BUT HE'S ALSO THE LAST OF HIS KIND!"

Link stared at her in terrified amazement. "What are you _doing_?"

Navi shrugged. "I dunno."

There was a clatter of footsteps behind them and Link turned around to see guards, of course.

"Look what you did, Navi!" Link yelled as the guards grabbed him and started pulling him away.

Navi looked around in surprise. "Oops. My bad."

oooOOOoooOOOooo

Navi opened her eyes. She didn't remember going to sleep. Someone must have drugged her. Again. She shrugged and looked around, yawning. It was dark, wherever she was.

"Is there anybody here?" Navi called impatiently. "I haven't eaten in about five hours, guys. This is getting ridiculous."

There was a clatter and a light flickered on. "Oh, you're awake," someone called. "Good. I was getting a little worried there."

"Who is that?" Navi asked. She felt almost as though she were missing something. But what could it be? She shook her head; she must just be hungry. "Do you have food?"

"My name's Pipit. I work in the museum. No, I don't have any food, sorry." The stranger answered.

"That's unacceptable, Pipit. Where are you, I need to hit you." Navi informed him grimly.

"I'm right behind you. Have been the whole time." Pipit answered.

Navi spun around. There was a young man behind her with dark hair, wearing a yellow shirt.

"I'm Navi." Navi introduced herself. "I had a person somewhere," she realized. "Name was Link. Do you know what happened to him?"

Pipit thought for a second. "Um… yeah, he went down to see the Metaltron."

Navi blinked. "Metaltron? It's called a 'Metaltron?'"

Pipit nodded slowly.

Navi managed not to laugh.

"Anyway," Pipit continued, "he tried to kill it for some reason. Do you wanna see it?" He asked.

Navi considered this for a minute. If Link had tried to kill it, that meant he couldn't be too upset if she tried to do the same thing. And any day she got to kill things was a good day.

"I absolutely _would_ like to see this _Metaltron_."

Pipit nodded and they were off.

oooOOOoooOOOooo

Link sighed. Now would be a really good time for Navi to attempt some kind of daring rescue, even at the cost of her own life. Seriously, what was more important than him, Timelord Link?! He was the Oncoming Storm, the Destroyer of Worlds, and there he was remembering things again. Was he going crazy? Was he already there? Was any of this actually real?

The door to Link's personal torture chamber opened and van Statten walked in. "Your little friend killed my Metaltron." He stated blankly.

Link stared. Navi had killed the dalek? He guessed it made sense; after all, she had been stabbing unicorns the other day, the sick freak.

Van Statten continued speaking, "And now she's told me that if I don't release you, she'll kill me too."

"Oh that's nice." Link commented. "I was just thinking about how helpful it would be if Navi rescued me. I guess great minds think alike."

Link opened the doors of the TARDIS to see Navi and some strange, _beautiful_, man standing in the control room.

"Oh! Link, this is Pipit," Navi explained, gesturing to the man, "he wants to come with us. Is that okay?"

Link nodded immediately and glared at Navi. "Mine." He told her.

* * *

**A/N: Well. That happened. I didn't really try as hard with this chapter. I guess you'll just have to deal with that... **

**Have a smiley face to make up for it :)**


	4. Something About Something

**A/N: ** **Plot twist: I actually _am_ alive and I _have _done things regarding this story. The funny thing is (well, funny for _me)_, I have the majority of this written, I just haven't typed and/or uploaded it. ALSO: HEY YOU SHOULD PAY ATTENTION TO THIS BECAUSE IT'S BOLD AND IN ALL CAPS. I WILL PROBABLY BE EDITING SOME MISTAKES I MADE REGARDING THE FIRST FEW CHAPTERS OF THIS BECAUSE MY _RIDICULOUSLY IMPATIENT FRIEND HIPSTER SPORK _MADE ME PUBLISH THIS BEFORE IT WAS FINISHED AND NICE AND NEAT AND STUFF. I'll let you know when I actually _do _edit my shit but you should know that I _am _going to be doing that soon. Be on the lookout for changes. Also, hey look, there's another chapter here:**

* * *

Chapter 4—Something About… Something

Link, Navi and their new friend Pipit, were sitting in the console room of the TARDIS, Pipit looking around, still in awe. Navi rolled her eyes, expecting him to be used to it by now. It_ had_ been twenty minutes, after all.

"So, this is the TARDIS," Link was saying, gesturing around modestly as though he were trying to impress Pipit without looking like he were trying to do so. Clearly, it wasn't working so well. Pipit _was_ looking appropriately impressed though.

"Can I see the rest of it?" He asked, seeming enthralled. It made Navi sick.

"Well," Link stalled, "you can _try. _I don't think anyone actually knows how far the TARDIS continues, though."

This, of course, only spiked Pipit's curiosity more. Navi had a feeling that this was probably part of Link's plan.

"Oh, come on, Link," she spoke up from her dark, creepy corner. "Let's take him on a tour."

Navi could tell she had annoyed Link by assuming she had the authority to suggest tours, but she could also tell that Link wasn't inclined to reveal his angry side in front of Pipit just yet.

"Fine." He said in an angry, clipped voice, glaring at Navi. "TARDIS tour it is."

They set off through the same door Link and Navi had the last time they had gone venturing through the TARDIS, but instead of costumes, the three were greeted by the same never-ending hallway.

"Oh God, not this again." Link muttered. Navi snickered. Pipit just seemed confused.

Link took a breath. "Right. Let's go," he dais, moving toward the first door.

Inside was a set of shelves that held several different skeins of yarn and an assortment of needles.

"Knitting room?" Pipit questioned.

Link nodded distractedly, staring around. They left the room silently, slightly confused by its presence, as none of the currently on-board companions knitted, and went on to the next room.

This room was entirely empty except for a large table that held a board with a label reading "For Drawing."

"So _this_ is where you've been going all these years!" Navi exclaimed. "When you say 'Back to the drawing board,'" she elaborated in response to Link's confused look.

"You have an actual drawing _board?_" Pipit asked, laughing.

"Oh shut up," Link smiled.

Navi rolled her eyes, sickened by the cheesiness of their flirting, and led the way into the next room.

It was corndogs. It was _all _corndogs. The _entire room_ was made of corndogs.

"What exactly is the point of this?" Navi demanded, glancing accusingly at Link.

"Well… what if we get hungry?" He countered, already heading to the next room.

A riot of bright, flashing lights assaulted them as they opened the door, causing them to step back quickly.

"Was that… a _nightclub?"_ Pipit asked incredulously.

Link nodded slowly. "I believe it was."

"You have a nightclub?" Pipit wondered.

Link nodded again. "Apparently."

The next room they entered was filled entirely with computers, the one after that with clocks, and the next was made completely of windows. Navi and Pipit practically had to drag Link out of the next, which just happened to be a petting zoo, and Link was very intent on petting the llamas.

He was still pouting when Navi opened the door to the next room, only to be pulled back by Pipit when he realized there was no floor. Glancing around, Navi noticed there were no walls either. The whole room was just a ceiling.

"Thanks for that, by the way." Navi thanked Pipit as they closed the door and moved on to the next. "It's nice to have a decent person on the TARDIS for once; Link probably would have just pushed me over the edge and locked the door."

Pipit shrugged. "I have a far more elaborate plan to kill you, don't worry."

The next room was small, square, and painted blue.

"It's the inside of a police box!" Link exclaimed happily, examining the room.

Pipit laughed and Navi looked around thoughtfully. "I've always wanted to ask—why's the TARDIS a police box anyway?"

Link shrugged, closing the door as they left the room, "I don't know. I've lost my memory—how should I know?"

Navi rolled her eyes and opened the next door.

A loud, annoying, repetitive music attacked them as she did.

"What _is _this?" Link growled, clamping his hands over his ears.

Navi just shook her head, attempting to shut the door; it didn't want to move for some reason.

"It's the Macarena," Pipit laughed, amused by their reactions. "It's a dance thing from Earth. It's been around forever."

"For insane people?" Navi grumbled as she closed the door, her words earning an unreadable look from Link.

"Shouldn't you know that, Navi? You're from Earth," he pointed out.

Navi shrugged and turned to Pipit for help only to see a considering look on his face.

"Yeah," he agreed slowly. "_Everyone _knows the Macarena, Navi…"

"I've never heard of it." Navi said, wishing they would just let it go. So she hadn't heard of some stupid dance. So what?

Pipit laughed slightly, shaking his head at Navi's apparent shortcoming, and moved to the next door.

Inside was what appeared to be a completely normal living room, complete with a mantel piece full of framed family pictures over the fireplace. The three moved closer curiously, expecting some kind of gruesome twist to reveal itself—nothing was ever this normal on the TARDIS.

Sure enough, after a few moments of staring around intently, Link let out a terrified squeak.

Concerned, both Navi and Pipit rushed to his side.

"What is it?" Pipit asked, seeming entirely too concerned for a casual acquaintance.

Link, however, didn't answer, seeming too busy staring at the wall before them in horror. Following his stricken gaze, Navi saw what the issue was. Among the framed family photos on the mantel, was a picture of Link, surrounded by the happy. Smiling faces of what was presumably a family.

And Link hated domestics.

"Let's get him out of here," Pipit suggested, grabbing one of Link's arms. Navi took the other and together, they pulled him out of this apparently terrifying room.

"Okay, we need to distract him," Navi decided. "Let's try this room," she yelled, as she charged across the hall, pulling open the door for Pipit and the semi-aware Link.

They were soon charging back out, though, as they realized this room was no better than the last. A psychotic laughter had filled the room as soon as they opened the door. For some reason, Navi felt like she recognized it from somewhere, but she didn't have much time to dwell on it, as she and Pipit were attempting to deal with a still shell-shocked Link.

"What happened to that petting zoo room?" Pipit asked hurriedly, his eyes wide with concern.

Navi looked around wildly, searching for the door. "I think it was this one," she decided, gesturing towards a door at random.

It was not the petting zoo.

The room was filled with an assortment of guns, their deadly metal bodies shining in unnaturally in the florescent light. Yet another thing to add to the list of things Link hated, Navi noted as the timelord in question let out a horrified whimper. Pipit and Navi dragged him out quickly.

"Come on, next room," Navi yelled, wrenching open the door.

Link squeaked and buried his head in Pipit's shoulder. Pipit didn't seem to mind all that much.

"What is _wrong_ with this place?" Navi demanded frantically as they ran from yet another of Link's worst fears. The loud sounds of cats meowing followed them hauntingly down the hall.

* * *

**A/N: Hey look, it's another author's note! Wow! **

**I don't feel complete unless I leave notes on both ends of the chapter. I don't even know. Just accept it.**


End file.
